There's something about weddings...
So theres something about weddings... I feel like I've said that a couple times now.I went to Jon and Leahs wedding last night..It was really great. Cool to see the whole Buck family dancing to the new life their kids were forming. But still, theres something about weddings.
Thursday I was fine.
Life was great.
Friday life was better, I got a new laptop in the mail.
Saturday life was ok...I had a new laptop and all...
Saturday night was getting worse...ug I Hate weddings.
Later Saturday night...Getting a little better. "not everything has to be about jiggs"
Later still Saturday night...three vodka tonics later and life couldnt be worse.
I got no love, I got no friends, my dog is a loser, my apartment sucks...
theres just something about weddings that I just dont like.
Not to say anything about the BuckLanni wedding...It was the best one I've ever been to..and really, the worse I feel at the end of the day, the better the wedding.
So what does that mean? Am I lying when i say that my life is great with me right now as it is? Am I not really subconsciously happy with the way things are? Do i secretly feel incomplete and unloved?
Who knows.
Back to the progress report...
Saturday late night...so sad I could have driven off a bridge and not cared.
Sunday morning...Getting better and wishing I had not thought about life the way i hate the night before.
So do I have more control over my own destiny than i think i do? Its totally uncool to sit around and think about all the things you havent got. Bleck. I hate people who do that. Which is why I guess I hate being myself when i get like that. If I dont like to be around other people when there like that, Why would i want to be like it myself....cuz I cant escape myself.
oops...got stupid there for a sec.
What I'm really saying is the same manic depressive thing i've always said...
If I dont like it...Change it.
If i dont like what I do, change it.
If I dont like who I am, Change it.
If I dont like how I look, change it.
Gosh..theres always something about that phrase that makes everything feel better. It makes the sun look shinier, and the sky look bluer. It doesnt solve everything, because you can still do that little heart check and ask yourself if youre still sad...wait to feel like little ping in your chest and know you are...but it helps.
Maybe thats why people keep talking about days being new every morning.
Maybe thats why God said His mercies were new every morning...
Maybe thats why we have mornings to begin with.
Who knows.
posted by Jiggs @ 12:09 PM
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